Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Andy has a posse.

Tuesday, October 18th, 2005

Just so that you know, I am no longer completely isolated and lonely here in Texas.

andy has a posse.

i’s gots minions now. quillions o’ minons.
respek! booyashaka! word.

Friday, August 19th, 2005

I sleep with my clothes on every night. This way, I will be prepared for the afterlife if I die in my sleep.

Hazzard County Wisdom

Saturday, February 26th, 2005

This hits a little too close to home: Most folks eat when they’re hungry. Boss Hogg eats when he’s nervous. If he didn’t burn it off worrying, Ol’ Boss ‘ud weigh a ton.

Sunday, January 16th, 2005

ahahahahahahaha! i have done the most awesome/awful thing ever. i have created a PDF that will allow you to print onto 45 sheets of paper to create a pointilism-styled image of tubgirl as a approximate 6 ft x 5.5 ft poster.

Family Fun Day

Thursday, July 15th, 2004

So, today was the day that my dad and mom and I all spent together doing family activity. We went to the Johnson Space Center near Texas City (aka: Houston from “Houston, we have a problem.”). Took some tours, saw some exhibits, watched an iMax film about the international space station. I saw some neat things, some disturbing people, some sexy girls. I took plenty of pictures, but I doubt that very many came out very well. On the way home, we stopped at El Toro for dinner and then rented The Bourne Identity to watch when we got home. And then we watched The Bourne Identity, and it was good. While we were renting the video, I saw an interesting new product. I think that I totally need to get CRUNK!!! in the next couple days before I leave TX.

Anyhow, I will post some pictures from the Space Center as soon as I get them uploaded.

update: pics!

A message to the power elite:

Sunday, June 13th, 2004

How much “bad intelligence” do you get to use before we are justified in calling you “stupid”?

rob schneider says: “who are the ad-wizards that came up with that one?”

Wednesday, April 14th, 2004

omg… i just saw a commercial for one of those yogurt in a tube products (i am not sure which brand it was) and they are advertising their new “shrek” line of flavors, which includes a flavor called “donkey-berry punch”. first off, i don’t think i would want to eat a donkey-anything flavored snack (unless maybe it was like donkey-jerky or donkey-steak or donkey-burger or something). and second off, how did anything with a name containing the word “donkey” followed by the word “punch” get past the decision-makers? but seriously, it is too funny, right? or is it just me?

Sunday, March 28th, 2004

pfft.. i’d bonify BeyoncĂ© Knowles… (mumblemumble)

“From The Jeep To The Street, These Are The Hits With More Bounce To The Ouce!”

Monday, December 29th, 2003

From the douchebags that brought you Kidz Bop, Now That’s What I Call Music, Monster Booty, Monsta Jamz, Monsta Flava, Goin’ South, and Ultimate Yanni

…comes Thug Nation.

Even though this company must offer at least a few decent compilations of music (I hope), I absolutely despise the way they market their products. I just saw an ad for “Thug Nation”, and it is completely ridiculous. I have to assume that these people are marketing the music to stupid white suburban kids who like to fool themselves into thinking that they live in “the ghetto”. I can’t imagine any self-respecting “thug” to order this collection of music. (I would think that most already own the albums that the songs come from anyway.) The incredibly “old white guy” sounding narrator reading a script that attempts to emulate current street slang certainly does not convince me that he knows what it is like to live the “thug life”. It’s cheesy, it’s corny, and it seems a bit exploitative. I hope to God that I never have to make ads like these when I get a job.

From the website:

“Whether you’re jeepin’ or creepin’, Thug Nation has got your back!”

From the television commercial:

Are you a true player? Then it’s time to pledge allegiance to the money, power, and respect of Thug Nation—the hugest hood anthems of all time. Guaranteed to get you gangsta! … Whether you’re a hustla, a baller, or a P-I-M-P, Thug Nation is gonna get your game in check. Call or log on, and get your thug on now! These are all the greatest hip-hop hits for the thug in you. … East Coast, West Coast and the rivalry that spawned the biggest mix of all time; it’s Thug Nation, where all your favorite legends of hip-hop are representin’. Where da hood at? It’s ahhll right heeere, dog! … Plus, get blingin’ with this “Holla 4 Thug Nation” bumper sticker, absolutely free with your paid order. Street dreams are made of this. Get Thug Nation now!


Archived: The Ohio Clusterfuck Phenomenon

Sunday, October 12th, 2003

This entry was part of my previous journal, but I felt that it deserved to be carried over. The original entry was written after a weekend road trip that involved driving longways twice across the state of Ohio.

The Ohio Clusterfuck Phenomenon (as presented by Andrew M. Janeshek)