Archive for April, 2005

Lucidity Waiver

Thursday, April 21st, 2005

The past couple days have been very odd for me. I have been slipping into periods of almost complete incoherence lately. While walking home from class this afternoon, I caught myself feeling incredible impulses to do some very unusual and innapropiate things and realized that my mind seemed to be slipping into almost subconscious control. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, but I began to realize that it has been happening with more and more frequency of late, and it is starting to scare me.

The best way that I can think of to describe it is that I am losing conscious control of myself, slipping into subconscious autonomy. It is like blacking out for a few minutes and then coming back, but usually having a vague idea of what just happened. I am losing lucidity. It’s kind of like being in a zombie-state or some sort of fucked up quietism; I am physically active and responsive, but at best, my conscious mind is merely hanging on for the ride.

(more…)

Shower-time Train of Thought

Tuesday, April 19th, 2005

Who is the better artist?
The artist whose work is simple, accessible, direct? The artist who is loved by the masses?
Or the artist whose work is vague, ambiguous, complex, convoluted? The artist who is loved by other artists?
Both have their own merits, both have positives and negatives, but which one is best?
I suppose that it all comes down to personal values.
But if so many more people value the simple, then does that make it better? Majority rule?
And yet, if the artists are considered elite, if those who are valued by the masses value the complex, then does that make the complex better? Hierarchical/structural valuation?

Sunday, April 3rd, 2005

I need to clean up my life. I’m seriously unstable. I need to do some emotional housecleaning.