I need to learn how to just not care about everything so much. I don’t know why I let things like this bother me. I know what’s going on, I know that it is out of my control, and for that matter, I would’t have any right to conrol it even if I could, but I keep wanting for things to be different than they are. I like to think that I can change the world, that I can help people chenge themselves for the better. I need to just work on changing myself for the better, but it’s easier to see others’ mistakes than my own mistakes. I just can’t see myself objectively, no matter how hard I try. That is why I can give good advice but then not even be able to take my own advice. I can’t help myself, so I try to help others… but you can’t really help anyone who won’t help themselves. Sometimes life feels like a train screeching and sliding down the rails towards a collapsed bridge. Those of us in the front can see what’s coming, but none of us have any power to stop it. We are all fucking doomed.