I have been feeling a lot better this past month than I have in a long time. Things haven’t really been much better than usual, but my outlook has been improving and somewhat less pessimistic. Part of it is forcing myself to interact with others. Part of it is forcing myself to close certain chapters of my life and move on. Despite my better overall condition, I still have my moments of misery. Most evenings, unless I am out with friends, I find myself falling into despair and loneliness. I used to use art or writing to help distract (or at least, in some manner, relieve) me from these feelings. For awhile, I used to work on my car to do this as well. I have done all that is practical for my car, and so the only work that I do on it now is maintenance, which is still rewarding but not very effective at relieving my tension. This fall, I used my Halloween costume to accomplish this on a smaller scale. I have a few ideas for paintings to start on, but I keep putting them off for one reason or another. Very soon though, I hope tp have a new distraction with the 1958 Volvo. Assuming that I don’t go completely broke in the process, there are almost endless things to do which will let me forget my troubles and focus on something more meaningless.
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