Giant Boy Attack!

March 22nd, 2005

Well, it isn’t officially completed, because I still need to bake/heat-set the paint onto the shirt, but since all of the paintwork is complete, here is the t-shirt that I have been working on over spring break: Rawr!

Hazzard County Wisdom

February 26th, 2005

This hits a little too close to home: Most folks eat when they’re hungry. Boss Hogg eats when he’s nervous. If he didn’t burn it off worrying, Ol’ Boss ‘ud weigh a ton.

February 25th, 2005

So while taking a break from homework, I’ve been watching a National Geographic program (Nature’s Nightmares) on spiders. It makes me glad that we don’t have much in the way of giant+aggressive+superpoisonous spiders around here. It was also interesting to watch the mating rituals of various spiders. (Black Widow males are disgusting looking, by the way.) For most species, it seems that the male merely has to do a little dance for the female and BAM! He is in sex city. Of course the female generally kills and devours the male after mating. I suppose that is a sure-fire way to guarantee fidelity. Oh, the price we pay to play…

Drive me far away. I don’t care where, just far away.

February 14th, 2005

I miss taking road trips and getting away on weekends. It grounds me. It gives me perspective on my self and my life.

February 2nd, 2005

I need to learn how to just not care about everything so much. I don’t know why I let things like this bother me. I know what’s going on, I know that it is out of my control, and for that matter, I would’t have any right to conrol it even if I could, but I keep wanting for things to be different than they are. I like to think that I can change the world, that I can help people chenge themselves for the better. I need to just work on changing myself for the better, but it’s easier to see others’ mistakes than my own mistakes. I just can’t see myself objectively, no matter how hard I try. That is why I can give good advice but then not even be able to take my own advice. I can’t help myself, so I try to help others… but you can’t really help anyone who won’t help themselves. Sometimes life feels like a train screeching and sliding down the rails towards a collapsed bridge. Those of us in the front can see what’s coming, but none of us have any power to stop it. We are all fucking doomed.

January 16th, 2005

I’ve been trying to decide whether I am full of mustard or ketchup.

January 16th, 2005

ahahahahahahaha! i have done the most awesome/awful thing ever. i have created a PDF that will allow you to print onto 45 sheets of paper to create a pointilism-styled image of tubgirl as a approximate 6 ft x 5.5 ft poster.

January 12th, 2005

Last night, I slept like a corpse. Not as well as a corpse (in fact, I woke quite frequently), but in the position of a corpse–flat on my back with my arms crossed over my chest (more like a mummy, I suppose). This is mostly unusual for me, though not entirely unheard of, and got me to thinking about how I sleep. I generally need to feel some sort of weight upon me. Even in the summer, I like to have heavy blankets weighing me down. I often need to bury my head underneath pillows. I wonder if this reflects some sort of unfulfilled psychological need or some other sort of deficiency in my waking life?

Personal Life Descriptors

January 1st, 2005

I was doing what I often do while I sit at home most every evening–thinking/reflecting–and I came upon the distinct conclusion that “unbalanced” is the word that best describes how I feel about how I think/act/feel in life these days. I then remembered how in high school and my first couple years of college, that word used to be “off-center” (a fantastic concept which held the connotations of awkwardness, deviance, asymmetry, imperfection, and eccentricity for me). I began to wonder whether “off-center” might not still be more appropriate, but I decided that balance is a more important concept than position is in my life at present. So I would describe my self/life right now as “Balance–or the lack thereof.”

Resolutions?

December 30th, 2004

I’ve never been much of one for making New Year’s resolutions for myself (except for the occasional “This year, I am not going to let the fact that people–in general, as a whole, as individuals, with a handful of exceptions–who deserve my loathing make my year suck quite as bad as last year”). I’ve always been more for gradual self-improvement whenever convenient, necessary, or otherwise attempt-able.

As part of this, I have recently been trying to accomplish a few personal changes:
(1) Allow/force self to be more extroverted/outgoing.
(2) Allow self to be more off-the-wall and uncensored in the making of levity and humor.
(3) Maintain (and increase if possible) personal levels of unrestrained honesty when dealing with others.
(4) Get back into shape, you lazy unhealthy fuck.

For the most part, I have been making strong advances toward these goals (with the exception of #4). I have noticed that by employing these strategies rather sporadically, I am beginning to think and behave in a manner that might be perceived as a bit schizophrenic. I began to devise new approaches to achieve my goals without regressing into a lovable creepy psychotic, but then I decided not to bother. My New Year’s resolution–primarily only regarded as such due to the timing–is to wallow in my own crazy. So if I have recently done or will soon do anything that pisses you off, blame it on the New Year.