Listen, surely I’ve exceeded expectations–tried for three years, seems like thirty…

I want to be a superhero. I want to be a “man.”
I have realized one more of a number of reasons why I am pessimistic that I will ever get married. I feel like I am trapped in the body of a child. I am not tall enough. I am not broad enough. I can’t grow a beard. When my parents introduce me to people that they know in TX, everyone thinks that I just graduated high school.
I am almost in my mid-20s.
I sometimes feel like I am going to transform directly from teen to geezer, bypassing adulthood. And the thing is: women don’t want to marry a boy. Women want to marry men. I have this iconic vision of man as superman–stong but gentle, resolute, persevering, proud, standing on a pedestal, admired by boys and girls, desired by women. Not all men get to ever completely fulfill this ideal, but most can fulfill it in part; I fear that I cannot, even in part.

Tags: ,

One Response to “Listen, surely I’ve exceeded expectations–tried for three years, seems like thirty…”

  1. wap3 says:


    Hey sir.

    It’s Billy …don’t think I’ve ever replied on your jounal thing before.

    I think you’re being a bit too hard on yourself. Being a “man” is much more internal than it is external. Being responsible for your actions, caring for yourself and those around you, being productive — living your life how you want to live it.. these qualities, moreso than beard thickness and muscle tone, are better indicators of maturity, or “manhood”.

    I’ve only known you for a short period of time, but I believe that you possess many of these qualities to some extent – and they will get stronger as life grants you more and more experiences.

    With true love I feel that physical attractivness is, in fact, important; but it takes a large backseat to more long-lasting characteristics like trust, personality, devotion, and faith (for some of us).

    Anyway.. I’m not real sure where I’m going with this, so I’m gonna end it.

    A chance to love someone is out there for everyone. Life will present this chance, and at that point, we must decide to hop on for the ride, or withdraw and wait for the next chance to arrive. If you decide to hop on, and it works out, she’ll love you for your inner-self; and will probably care less wether you can grow a handlebar mustache or not.