I seem to have a need for external validation. I can’t seem to learn to love myself unconditionally. Actually, I’m having trouble loving myself at all. I have this need to always be doing something productive. What am I worth? What have I done today? Nothing. For some reason I have this need to do something epic; I need to make a permanent dent in the world to validate my existence. I need to prove to myself that I am alive.


5 Responses to “”

  1. It’s sad but I know exactly what you’re saying. I feel like that all the time. I’m starting to wonder when I stop trying to accomplish things in my life and live it…

  2. Anonymous says:

    me too…

  3. Hey, I just saw that I was on your friends list so I added you back!

  4. I think I understand what you’re talking about…I grew up with this notion that I have to be a fucking genius, and I’ve based my whole identity around it, and I am 100% incapable of confronting the possibility that I’m just a normal intelligent guy.

  5. pet_minotaur says:


    livejournals are dumb. that is why i have one. dumb is the new gay. gay was the new cool. gay is now the old cool and current gay.